Saturday, 17 April 2010

Saturday Afternoon Blues

Over Easter I have found myself a new job at a residential home. As I have found with a similar job to this, it starts to make my mind tick away. Fear, of ending up in such a place, as to me, at the end of the day I can go home, I'm not trapped. I heard someone liken it to being like an open prison, or an asylum. The fear of entrapment, aging, dying (of course, inevitable) losing control and embarrassment. Reflecting on ones life and thinking, did I do a good job? Those things I cannot change, would I really have changed them? This lead me to think about destiny and the people we meet, is choice a real existing force when everything we know is an interpretation of the world through our senses? These things can not be trusted, yet we let them and some of us believe it fate, the wheel of destiny or God. Are we a random happening of accidental encounters and events, or is there a grand scheme, the age old question. As you can tell, I tend to think a lot about things I and others will never know the answer to. A lot has happened over this Easter term and has got me thinking again and trying to incorporate this into my practising work (currently 2D fantasy style artworks) where these paths lead is unknown to me, I guess i must leave some decisions down to the unseen force we call fate and when the option to make a choice arrives once more, I'll try and figure out the best plan of action or at least make a decision and try not to regret it. All this thought on a Saturday afternoon.

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